The Spiritual Midwifery of Medrakanoeonapua

Medrakanoeonapua or Medra, as she’s fondly known, has been a figure of lore and legend within the birthing community of Oahu for over 40 years. Yet, you may not have heard of her unless, of course, you were planning a home birth. More and more women are choosing to give birth at home, desiring a more intimate, sacred experience than what hospitals have traditionally offered. For decades, Medra has supported the choices of these women despite scrutiny and biased judgments of those operating within established institutional birthing facilities. Her unwavering advocacy to protect the birthing rights of women have earned her a controversial reputation of both devil and saint, dependent on which side of the fence one sits. In this month’s Common Threads interview, I invite you to discover more about the very authentic and earthly woman behind the myth…

EM:  Let’s start with a little bit of your life history, where you grew up, and what kind of kid you were.

Medra: Oh, OK. I was a premature baby.  So, not much was expected of me.  My parents didn’t put a lot of pressure on me to do anything. I crawled late, I didn’t crawl normally I scooted, I hid in the fireplace. That’s the kind of kid I was. When I was born they had no incubators at that time in the 40s or they just thought I wasn’t going to make it. So they brought me home and put me in the oven in the kitchen that my father was building. So I am truly an oven baby. I was a bun in the oven for probably a month and they fed me with an eyedropper. I was one of the first Similac babies, but anyway, my parents every hour did that, so they were very devoted. They were devoted to me to make sure I grew up.

Then when I became about three or four we moved to Florida outside of Fort Lauderdale. When we got there I lived outside in our yard. I wasn’t normal you see, and while I was outside, I learned to talk to the animals and talk to the trees and the flowers. I never saw a difference. I never saw them as being different than me. In other words, we communicated. So it was very normal for me. And I believe my intuition was beginning to develop at that time. More than my conscious mind because I related to all the creatures. I had no fear, not from the spiders or the snakes, not anything. I’ve never, never had fear. And I think this is what has saved me in my life.

EM: Wow, you never had fears. Are you sure, have you dug down deep inside to look at that?

Medra: Yes, when I met Hannah (Medra’s Hawaiian sister and Kumu Hula), I liked her as a person and she liked me and we became friends and she did a Hawaiian ho’oponopono with me. Now, she had no business doing that because one, I wasn’t born into the culture, two, I wasn’t even Mormon (like she was), and three, she didn’t know who I was, but she did it anyway. Over three days we went back into my life: my marriage, the children, and then my childhood and even before that pre-birth, and I remember I was told I should come back and I said, “I don’t want to because I don’t want to go through the part of living the way it is.” and then these guides said, “We will be with you and we will protect you so nobody will hurt you physically.” The emotional part is my responsibility but they have protected me and that’s why I’m not afraid. I mean, I was accosted by bandits in Mexico and they didn’t kill me or rape my daughter, and I had no fear, you know?  I think that’s why I have been a good midwife.

Medrakanoeonapua portrait of a spiritual midwife. (photo courtesy of Erica McMillan)

EM: Did you know from a young age what you wanted to do with your life?

Medra: Oh God no! I was always a free spirit. I wore ratty underwear with flowers and no shoes, and I felt beautiful. My goal in the morning is to get out of bed!

EM: That must be different than the goals you had as a young woman?

Medra: Well that was the goal then too because I had kids and I didn’t know if I wanted to face all of that in the morning! (laughing) It’s more like the goal has always been, what’s happening at the moment.

EM: So at 18 years old you picked up and moved to Chicago, tell me about that time in your life.

Medra: I got accepted to the Art Institute of Chicago, which is a pretty predominant school. It was the only school I signed up for and I got accepted.

EM: So this was in 1958. What was life like for a young woman at that time?

Medra: Not that good, except at the University, they were trying to make a realization that women were more than just maidservants to men. We weren’t expected to be doctors or lawyers or pilots or go into the military. We could be a nurse, a teacher, or married and that was it. Or a prostitute, that’s what I used to tell my men friends were my four options.

But being in the University of Chicago area, I started to read. Growing up, I was a poor student. I hated reading. I never read till I got to be a senior. And then I started to push the boundaries.  I remember my homeroom teacher, he put me out in the hall because I wouldn’t read the Bible. I just did it at that time to shove my elbows out, I was rebelling. A Jewish man, Dr. Levin, came by and told my teacher,  “You know, she may not be allowed to read the Bible. She might be Jewish.”  So my teacher said, “Well, in that case, she still can’t come in because the Jews killed Christ.”

EM: So, you grew up in religious schools?

Medra: No, we had no money for that, It was a regular public school. My mother was born Catholic and my father was protestant, but they vowed when they got married they would not bring us up in any religion because they wanted us to be free to search.

EM: You’ve always been a woman out there pushing societal boundaries, how have you been received throughout your life by others?

Medra: I don’t know and I don’t care, sorry. Not too well I guess. I’m still the same today. There are people out there that really dislike me intensely and want to see me be gone and I don’t care.

EM: Why do you think that is?

Medra: Jealousy and I don’t have that. I’m not jealous. I’m not jealous of my husband. I’m not jealous of my family and friends. I’m not jealous of rich or poor, having many kids or no kids. I mean, I don’t have any of that, so I don’t understand those dynamics. I just don’t get it and because I don’t get it, that’s why they can’t hurt me, you see? I never cared though. That’s their problem. Right? Not mine.

I knew I was on a journey and I never let anyone stop me on my journey. It wasn’t until probably about 30 years ago, 40 years ago when I moved here (to Oahu) that I began to realize we’re all on a journey. And we’re not born here because of the government saying we have to go on this journey. We’re all born and then we go on a journey. I’m on a journey, my husband, my children, and it may not be the same journey and we have to be OK with that. It takes a lot of a person to come to terms with that.

That’s why I’m a good midwife because I recognize those births are the woman’s journey and I am there to protect, to make sure that everything is safe and OK, but It’s her journey. It’s not mine and she’s sharing it with me. So I give it back to her and a lot of midwives (and doctors) don’t do that, they take it as their journey and try to control it. Every birth you do, you learn something and you learn something from the mother and the baby. The thing is the woman. I think if I have a mission in life, it’s to give to them, the women, the mothers.

Midwife Medrakanoeonapua is surrounded by mothers she attended in childbirth as she soothes a pregnant mother soon to give birth. (photo courtesy of Erica McMillan)

EM: That’s a good mission! When did you decide to start your own family?

Medra: Oh when I was about seven years old and my mother had my brother, I decided I wanted to have a baby later. But I was always careful about who I picked. I wanted someone that wasn’t a mean man, wasn’t a beater, or a screamer. Someone who would support me in what I wanted to do because taking care of children requires help. So that’s why I waited and picked Ramon.

I met him at a Latin festival at the University of Chicago where everyone was dancing and he asked my name and walked me home. Later he joined me in Panama where I was living with my parents and we were married by the Archbishop of the Catholic church there. After we were married, Ramon was in the military and we moved around quite a bit. We had two daughters and then while in the Philippines we adopted our son. Upon returning to the states we settled in Colorado. Ramon retired from the military and went on to pursue psychology studies in Europe. I didn’t go because the children were young and a lot of work at that time and I didn’t want to be stuck with young children, in an apartment, in Switzerland or Germany.  So I stayed in the house in Colorado and got involved in rape crisis. I was the hotline lady

I became the head of the rape crisis line and I started to open our home to battered women and rape victims. That’s where my movement started, out of anger.  I saw how terribly the medical and the police treated these women and they were all beautiful, the women I met with, and so I brought them into our house.

I had 30 battered women in my house that year and 4 of them got out of those relationships. Some people used to tell me I couldn’t do that if I wasn’t an organization and didn’t get money, but I did it and I never charged them anything. I actually developed a good relationship with the police there. They would call and I would meet them in an alley with my kids in the back of the car. We’d get the women and put them in my car and then the police would follow us out and I’d take them to my house. The police got to be really nice to me. But in fact, the head of the department said I was crazy. He said, “If I were your husband, I’d be mad at you.” and I said, “Well, that’s why you’re not my husband.” but of course my husband wasn’t there anyway!” (laughing)

That same year I attended a midwifery conference where Sheri Daniels’ school was presented to me. So, I applied and when Ramon got back I said, “You had your year, now it’s my turn.” and we moved to El Paso, TX so I could train at the midwifery school, La Maternidad El Paso.

EM: So the entire family uprooted and moved to El Paso so you could attend school and Ramon became the mama/papa. That’s amazing, not just any man could do that, especially during that time period!

Medra: Yes, so after that I got into it but I had a lot to overcome because as I say, IQ-wise, I’m not the brightest. I mean, I don’t pick up things automatically, I hate learning, and I’m not good at reading and then remembering what I’m supposed to do. But I’m very good hands-on and I had worked with women, so I was good. I was teaching classes, doing all the prenatals and my Spanish was horrible, so I made words up. No fear, no fear right. But I was a good midwife and they (birthing mothers) all wanted me so then Sheri made me one of the directors for the clinic and I stayed for a while until we left for Nepal.

After a year in Nepal, Ramon took our son with him to the Philippines and I returned to El Paso with the girls where we lived with Sheri Daniels in her home and I began working at the clinic again. In fact, Sheri made me the director of the directors at Maternidad La Luz so I’m very competent, I’m just not…

EM: Conventional?

Media:  Yeah. If you asked me for medical terminology it’s like, oh, I’ve heard that word but I’m not sure what you mean because it’s not important. It’s made up, I mean, Braxton Hicks, is named after some man who is never even is going to experience those things. 

Medra’s reverence for the sacredness of birth is part of what defines her practice of spiritual midwifery. (Erica McMillan photo HonoluluVibes.com)

EM: What was important for you to instill in your children?

Media:  Basically just to be decent, honest, and not to lie. Don’t steal from me or anybody else and don’t lie! Just be decent human beings and I think all three of them are.  I succeeded.

EM:  It means a lot to be able to say that, did you always feel like you were succeeding in parenting?

Medra: Oh God no, when they were teenagers it was a nightmare! I felt like, “Oh, God what did I do?”

EM: How long did you have to wait to feel the success?

Media: Well, I got drunk a few times with my oldest daughter and I thought, “Oh, you’re you’re teaching me a lot of lessons, but I have to get drunk to enjoy them.” (laughing)

Actually, they were pretty good and the one thing I really got across that I used to say a lot at that time was, “You don’t have to like me. You don’t have to love me. But gosh, you have to respect me and I will take nothing less. Because that was my movement in the 60s. Equal rights, you know, equal pay, equal causes, blah, blah, blah,  which we still don’t have today. We’re closer now but we still don’t get it. I mean, we do have military officers, women pilots, women doctors, women lawyers. We do have that, but I don’t know if they have the respect of the institution, which is primarily masculine. So I think we’re still fighting.

And that’s what I said to the legislators here in Hawai’i when I went down and protested the bill against midwifery. I turned to the legislators and I said to the women, I burned my bra in 68 & 69 so you could go into the legislation and be where you are now.
You should be thanking me, not condemning me with a law!

EM: So let’s talk about that midwifery legislation for a moment. State Senate bill 1033 requires anyone practicing midwifery to obtain licensure through the state and makes it illegal for unlicensed cultural and traditional practitioners to provide midwifery services after 2023, a title that you and many other competent home birth midwives have operated under for over 30 years here in Hawai’i. Why do you think women should be concerned about these new regulations surrounding home birth?

Medra:  Because it’s the last frontier of the massive claim to control. Not of our minds, not of our spirits, not of our souls, but of our yonis (vaginas).  It starts when we’re young and they control it, in birth. They make you feel guilty and they open you up, or they cut you, or they pull it out, or whatever they do. So, our last frontier is our sacred place. We need to be very careful of that.

I don’t care if a woman has her baby in the hospital, and I don’t even care if she wants to be aware, that’s her journey.
But if she does want to be aware then she needs to make it known. She’s the client, she’s the patient. They don’t have a right to tell her what to do. She’s paying, whether it’s insurance or whatever, she’s paying. She needs to have a conversation with them, and if she doesn’t like her doctor, get another one, they’re a dime a dozen.

It’s about respect and if they don’t feel they have that, then forget it. We need to retrain our daughters to teach them to protect that area of their bodies. So if they want to make a decision to have a pap smear, or where to have their babies they have to make a real decision. To research it and understand what’s happening.

EM: You’ve been a strong advocate for women’s rights throughout your life and have made a lasting impression on so many women over the years. What is your vision for women moving forward?

Medra:  Fight the battle, protect your yonis. And I don’t mean fight the battle by being nasty or that you have to put men down, but you can say no. You can say no and don’t worry about it If they yell and scream at you, you’ve said no and no means no. If they don’t respect you than you don’t need them in your life, go find somebody that will listen. We just don’t want to look and we’re taught to be nice and not make waves, but there are doctors that will listen.

EM: What do you have to say to those who feel you’re a dangerous radical?

Medra: I don’t even relate to it because I don’t get it. I don’t get it because I know that I may be a radical, but I’m not dangerous.  So, It’s just like the wind going over with those things.

EM: You seem to truly love every woman you attend, what is it you admire about the mothers you support in childbirth?

Medra:  Each woman is a flower opening up into all her beauty and not only is she a flower but her baby is too.  The expression that a woman has once she’s birthed her baby into the world is of glory and I’m overcome by it. The moment when that baby’s head is there at the door to the world crowning there’s apprehension because a moment between life and death and you can feel that. My husband Ramon told me the Mayans always thought of the midwives as warriors because they walk the line of life and death and fight for the baby’s life. Once the baby has passed through that life/death veil the look on the mother’s face can go from frustration and exhaustion to one of glory…. I can’t explain it, that look on her face just overcomes me.  At that moment, in my way, she is the Mother Mary and I treat her special, with high respect and a sacred high love, as you would with any spiritual being. At that moment every woman I attend is pulled into that sacredness. I’m at the altar of life and I’m blown away every time!

Medrakanoeonapua homebirth midwife, at home in her garden on Oahu. (Erica McMillan photo Honoluluvibes.com)

EM: What do you hope will happen to your soul after you pass on from this world?

Medra: I ain’t coming back here, that’s for sure! I don’t know, I think about if I go on to a better land, will it be boring, you know? This has not been boring, my life is not boring. I’ve learned a lot of things and I’ve shared a lot. But do I want a perfect heaven? Do I want to go there? I don’t know… I might just tour outer space.

EM: What’s important for you to do before you make that next step into the unknown?

Medra:  To clear up any remaining anger and frustration. I only became aware of it because my mind started to hurt and decline. Up until that time nothing bothered me, you know, but I’m in pain at times. I did have a stroke and I dealt with it. You would never know I had a stroke, but I know I did and I might die of that, which I’m not afraid of, but I want to clean up my act first. I’ve forgiven people and let it go, and I want to be in a different realm. I want to be able to take in that goodness and love and be one with it.

EM: So what would you like to have written on Medrakanoeonapua’s tombstone?

Medra: Oh, she won’t have anything written. She won’t have anything, she’s the breeze. She’s the sun, a rainbow, a moonbeam.  I’m going to have them put my ashes out here on titty islands (Mokulea Islands)! I want them to have a big celebration and party and eat. Anything they see of mine the kids can have and whatever they don’t want, give it away. Just don’t throw it away.

EM: Thank you Medra!

Read our ‘Common Threads’ interviews for more conversations with people you should know!

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Kirstin Pauka: Living & Teaching Asian Theatre

Kahnma Karnga on Coming to America – Part I

Kahnma Karnga Biggest Thing Out of Kaimuki – Part II

by Erica McMillan